It may seem that there’s nothing you can do about your stress level. The bills aren’t going to stop coming, there will never be more hours in the day for all your errands, and your career or family responsibilities will always be demanding. But you have a lot more control than you might think. In fact, the simple realization that you’re in control of your life is the foundation of stress management.
Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment, and the way you deal with problems. The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work, relationships, relaxation, and fun – plus the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet challenges head on.
Identify the sources of stress in your life
Learn about hidden sources of stress
Stress management starts with identifying the sources of stress in your life. This isn’t as easy as it sounds. Your true sources of stress aren’t always obvious, and it’s all too easy to overlook your own stress-inducing thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Sure, you may know that you’re constantly worried about work deadlines. But maybe it’s your procrastination, rather than the actual job demands, that leads to deadline stress.To identify your true sources of stress, look closely at your habits, attitude, and excuses:
- Do you explain away stress as temporary (“I just have a million things going on right now”) even though you can’t remember the last time you took a breather?
- Do you define stress as an integral part of your work or home life (“Things are always crazy around here”) or as a part of your personality (“I have a lot of nervous energy, that’s all”).
- Do you blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely normal and unexceptional?
Start a stress journal
A stress journal can help you identify the regular stressors in your life and the way you deal with them. Each time you feel stressed, keep track of it in your journal. As you keep a daily log, you will begin to see patterns and common themes. Write down:- What caused your stress (make a guess if you’re unsure).
- How you felt, both physically and emotionally.
- How you acted in response.
- What you did to make yourself feel better.
Look at how you currently cope with stress
Think about the ways you currently manage and cope with stress in your life. Your stress journal can help you identify them. Are your coping strategies healthy or unhealthy, helpful or unproductive? Unfortunately, many people cope with stress in ways that compound the problem.Unhealthy ways of coping with stress
These coping strategies may temporarily reduce stress, but they cause more damage in the long run:
|
|
Internal
Stressors:
Identifying
self-generated stressors
“Not all stress is caused by external pressures and demands.
Your stress can also be self-generated.
Internal causes of stress include:
o
uncertainty or
worries,
o
pessimistic att
itude,
o
self-criticism,
o
unrealistic
expectations or beliefs,
o
perfectionism,
o
low self-esteem,
o
excessive or
unexpressed anger,
o
lack of assertiveness,”1
and
o
fears or
apprehensions (e.g., fear of fl ying or
o
heights;
apprehension about speaking to strangers
o
at a party).
- Emotional stressors, which can also be thought of as internal stressors, include fears and anxieties (such as worries about whether you'll be fired or whether you'll make a good impression on a blind date) as well as certain personality traits (such as perfectionism, pessimism, suspiciousness, or a sense of helplessness or lack of control over one's life) that can distort your thinking or your perceptions of others. These stressors are very individual.
- Family stressors can include changes in your relationship with your significant other, financial problems, coping with an unruly adolescent, or experiencing empty-nest syndrome.
- Social stressors arise in our interactions within our personal community. They can include dating, parties, and public speaking. As with emotional stressors, social stressors are very individualized (you may love speaking in public, while your colleague shakes in his boots at the mere suggestion).
- Change stressors are feelings of stress related to any important changes in our lives. This may include moving, getting a new job, moving in with a significant other, or having a baby.
- Chemical stressors are any drugs a person abuses, such as alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, or tranquilizers.
- Work stressors are caused by the pressures of performing in the workplace (or in the home, if that is where you work). They may include tight deadlines, an unpredictable boss, or endless family demands.
- Decision stressors involve the stress caused by having to make important decisions, such as the choice of a career or a mate.
- Phobic stressors are those caused by situations you are extremely afraid of, such as flying in airplanes or being in tight spaces.
- Physical stressors are situations that overtax your body, such as working long hours without sleep, depriving yourself of healthy food, or standing on your feet all day. They may also include pregnancy, premenstrual syndrome, or too much exercise.
- Disease stressors are the products of long- or short-term health problems. These may cause stress (say, by preventing you from being able to leave your bed), be triggered by stress (such as herpes flare-ups), or be aggravated by stress (such as migraine headaches).
- Pain stressors can include acute pain or chronic pain. Like disease stressors, pain stressors can cause stress or be aggravated by stress.
- Environmental stressors include noise, pollution, a lack of space, too much heat, or too much cold.
There are probably items on your list of stressors you can let go of, however. If having to clean the entire house on your day off every week is preventing you from having any leisure time, perhaps you can fit a cleaning service into your budget. If ironing shirts is keeping you up late at night, send them to the cleaners instead. If these seem like luxuries you can't afford, try to reorganize your budget a bit. Remember, your time is valuable, too.
Reducing the strength of your stressors is usually a more viable option than eliminating them entirely. For example, if you are having trouble concentrating on your work because of loud noise in the office, consider buying a pair of earplugs. If your morning trip to work forces you to drive two hours in heavy traffic every day, try another option such as mass transit or carpooling and bring along the morning paper, a good book, or a CD player or IPOD loaded with favorite music.
Coping is no doubt your only option for the majority of the items on your list of stressors. However, this doesn't have to be as hopeless as it sounds. There are several techniques for learning to stay calm and clearheaded under pressure. As you master them, even your biggest stressors will pose less and less of a threat.
Go back through your list of stressors and mark an E for each item you can eliminate, an R for each stressor you can reduce the strength of, and a C for each item you can learn to cope with. For the items marked with an E or an R, jot down any ideas you have on how to accomplish these goals (for example, sending shirts to the cleaners or buying earplugs).
Learning healthier ways to manage stress
If your methods of coping with stress aren’t contributing to your greater emotional and physical health, it’s time to find healthier ones. There are many healthy ways to manage and cope with stress, but they all require change. You can either change the situation or change your reaction. When deciding which option to choose, it’s helpful to think of the four As: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept.Since everyone has a unique response to stress, there is no “one size fits all” solution to managing it. No single method works for everyone or in every situation, so experiment with different techniques and strategies. Focus on what makes you feel calm and in control.
Dealing with Stressful Situations: The Four A’s
Change the situation:
|
Change your reaction:
|
- By Dr Smita Pandey
No comments:
Post a Comment