Stress Management

There are many different ways to manage stress. Basically, it's best to eliminate as many stressors as you can, and find practical and emotional ways to better handle the stressors that are left. The following are among the simplest and most effective stress management techniques, arranged in a simple format.

Stress management strategy #1: Avoid unnecessary stress

Not all stress can be avoided, and it’s not healthy to avoid a situation that needs to be addressed. You may be surprised, however, by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate.

• Learn how to say “no” – Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional life, refuse to accept added responsibilities when you’re close to reaching them. Taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress.
• Avoid people who stress you out – If someone consistently causes stress in your life and you can’t turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship entirely.
• Take control of your environment – If the evening news makes you anxious, turn the TV off. If traffic’s got you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. If going to the market is an unpleasant chore, do your grocery shopping online.
• Avoid hot-button topics – If you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off your conversation list. If you repeatedly argue about the same subject with the same people, stop bringing it up or excuse yourself when it’s the topic of discussion.
• Pare down your to-do list – Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If you’ve got too much on your plate, distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts.” Drop tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.

Stress management strategy #2: Alter the situation

If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Figure out what you can do to change things so the problem doesn’t present itself in the future. Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.

• Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or someone is bothering you, communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build and the situation will likely remain the same.
• Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you’ll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.
• Be more assertive. Don’t take a backseat in your own life. Deal with problems head on, doing your best to anticipate and prevent them. If you’ve got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only have five minutes to talk.
• Manage your time better. Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When you’re stretched too thin and running behind, it’s hard to stay calm and focused. But if you plan ahead and make sure you don’t overextend yourself, you can alter the amount of stress you’re under.

Stress management strategy #3: Adapt to the stressor

If you can’t change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.

• Reframe problems. Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favorite radio station, or enjoy some alone time.
• Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.
• Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with “good enough.”
• Focus on the positive. When stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple strategy can help you keep things in perspective.

Adjusting Your Attitude

How you think can have a profound effect on your emotional and physical well-being. Each time you think a negative thought about yourself, your body reacts as if it were in the throes of a tension-filled situation. If you see good things about yourself, you are more likely to feel good; the reverse is also true. Eliminate words such as "always," "never," "should," and "must." These are telltale marks of self-defeating thoughts.

Stress management strategy #4: Accept the things you can’t change

Some sources of stress are unavoidable. You can’t prevent or change stressors such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a national recession. In such cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept things as they are. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it’s easier than railing against a situation you can’t change.

• Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control— particularly the behavior of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems.
• Look for the upside. As the saying goes, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from your mistakes.
• Share your feelings. Talk to a trusted friend or make an appointment with a therapist. Expressing what you’re going through can be very cathartic, even if there’s nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation.
• Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on.

Stress management strategy #5: Make time for fun and relaxation

Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by nurturing yourself. If you regularly make time for fun and relaxation, you’ll be in a better place to handle life’s stressors when they inevitably come.

Healthy ways to relax and recharge

Go for a walk. Spend time in nature. Call a good friend. Sweat out tension with a good workout. Write in your journal. Take a long bath. Light scented candles.

Savor a warm cup of coffee or tea. Play with a pet. Work in your garden. Get a massage. Curl up with a good book. Listen to music. Watch a comedy.

Don’t get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to take care of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.

• Set aside relaxation time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Don’t allow other obligations to encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibilities and recharge your batteries.
• Connect with others. Spend time with positive people who enhance your life. A strong support system will buffer you from the negative effects of stress.
• Do something you enjoy every day. Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether it be stargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike.
• Keep your sense of humor. This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways.

Stress management strategy #6: Adopt a healthy lifestyle

You can increase your resistance to stress by strengthening your physical health.

• Exercise regularly. Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress. Make time for at least 30 minutes of exercise, three times per week. Nothing beats aerobic exercise for releasing pent-up stress and tension.
• Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress, so be mindful of what you eat. Start your day right with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day.
• Reduce caffeine and sugar. The temporary "highs" caffeine and sugar provide often end in with a crash in mood and energy. By reducing the amount of coffee, soft drinks, chocolate, and sugar snacks in your diet, you’ll feel more relaxed and you’ll sleep better.
• Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs may provide an easy escape from stress, but the relief is only temporary. Don’t avoid or mask the issue at hand; deal with problems head on and with a clear mind.
• Get enough sleep. Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body. Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause you to think irrationally.

Methods of personal stress management and stress relief

If you are suffering from work-related stress and it's beginning to affect, or already affecting your health, stop to think: why are you taking this risk with your body and mind? Life's short enough as it is; illness is all around us; why make matters worse? Commit to change before one day change is forced upon you.
If you recognise signs of stress in a staff member, especially if you are that person's manager, don't ignore it - do something about it. It is your duty to do so. If you do not feel capable of dealing with the situation, do not ignore it; you must refer it to someone who can deal with it. You must also look for signs of non-work-related stressors or factors that increase susceptibility to stress, because these will make a person more vulnerable to work-related stressors. These rules apply to yourself as well....
Stress relief methods are many and various. There is no single remedy that applies to every person suffering from stress, and most solutions involve a combination of remedies. Successful stress management frequently relies on reducing stress susceptibility and removing the stressors, and often factors will be both contributing to susceptibility and a direct cause. Here are some simple pointers for reducing stress susceptibility and stress itself, for yourself or to help others:

Stress relief pointers

• think really seriously about and talk with others, to identify the causes of the stress and take steps to remove, reduce them or remove yourself (the stressed person) from the situation that causes the stress.
• Understand the type(s) of stressors affecting you (or the stressed person), and the contributors to the stress susceptibility - knowing what you're dealing with is essential to developing the stress management approach.
• improve diet - group B vitamins and magnesium are important, but potentially so are all the other vitamins and minerals: a balanced healthy diet is essential. Assess the current diet and identify where improvements should be made and commit to those improvements.
• reduce toxin intake - obviously tobacco, alcohol especially - they might seem to provide temporary relief but they are working against the balance of the body and contributing to stress susceptibility, and therefore increasing stress itself.
• take more exercise - generally, and at times when feeling very stressed - exercise burns up adrenaline and produces helpful chemicals and positive feelings.
• stressed people must try to be detached, step back, look from the outside at the issues that cause the stress.
• don't try to control things that are uncontrollable - instead adjust response, adapt.
• share worries - talk to someone else - off-load, loneliness is a big ally of stress, so sharing the burden is essential.
• increase self-awareness of personal moods and feelings - anticipate and take steps to avoid stress build-up before it becomes more serious.
• explore and use relaxation methods - they do work if given a chance - yoga, meditation, self-hypnosis, massage, a breath of fresh air, anything that works and can be done in the particular situation.
• seek out modern computer aids - including free downloads and desktop add-ons - for averting stresses specifically caused by sitting for long uninterrupted periods at a computer screen work-station, for example related to breathing, posture, seating, eye-strain, and RSI (repetitive strain injury).

Note also that managing stress does not cure medical problems. Relieving stress can alleviate and speed recovery from certain illnesses, particularly those caused by stress, (which depending on circumstances can disappear when the stress is relieved); i.e., relieving stress is not a substitute for conventional treatments of illness, disease and injury.
Importantly, if the stress is causing serious health effects the sufferer must consult a doctor. Do not imagine that things will improve by soldiering on, or hoping that the sufferer will somehow become more resilient; things can and probably will get worse.
For less serious forms of stress, simply identify the cause(s) of stress, then to commit/agree to removing the cause(s). If appropriate this may involve removing the person from the situation that is causing the stress. Counselling may be necessary to identify the cause(s), particularly if the sufferer has any tendency to deny or ignore the stress problem.
Acceptance, cognisance and commitment on the part of the stressed person are essential. No-one can begin to manage their stress if they are still feeling acutely stressed - they'll still be in 'fight or flight' mode. This is why a manager accused of causing stress though bullying or harassment must never be expected to resolve the problem. The situation must be handled by someone who will not perpetuate the stressful influence.

- By Dr Smita Pandey

Identifying the Stressors

It may seem that there’s nothing you can do about your stress level. The bills aren’t going to stop coming, there will never be more hours in the day for all your errands, and your career or family responsibilities will always be demanding. But you have a lot more control than you might think. In fact, the simple realization that you’re in control of your life is the foundation of stress management.
Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment, and the way you deal with problems. The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work, relationships, relaxation, and fun – plus the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet challenges head on.

Identify the sources of stress in your life

Learn about hidden sources of stress

Stress management starts with identifying the sources of stress in your life. This isn’t as easy as it sounds. Your true sources of stress aren’t always obvious, and it’s all too easy to overlook your own stress-inducing thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Sure, you may know that you’re constantly worried about work deadlines. But maybe it’s your procrastination, rather than the actual job demands, that leads to deadline stress.
To identify your true sources of stress, look closely at your habits, attitude, and excuses:

• Do you explain away stress as temporary (“I just have a million things going on right now”) even though you can’t remember the last time you took a breather?
• Do you define stress as an integral part of your work or home life (“Things are always crazy around here”) or as a part of your personality (“I have a lot of nervous energy, that’s all”).
• Do you blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely normal and unexceptional?

Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it, your stress level will remain outside your control.

Start a stress journal

A stress journal can help you identify the regular stressors in your life and the way you deal with them. Each time you feel stressed, keep track of it in your journal. As you keep a daily log, you will begin to see patterns and common themes. Write down:

• What caused your stress (make a guess if you’re unsure).
• How you felt, both physically and emotionally.
• How you acted in response.
• What you did to make yourself feel better.

Look at how you currently cope with stress

Think about the ways you currently manage and cope with stress in your life. Your stress journal can help you identify them. Are your coping strategies healthy or unhealthy, helpful or unproductive? Unfortunately, many people cope with stress in ways that compound the problem.

Unhealthy ways of coping with stress

These coping strategies may temporarily reduce stress, but they cause more damage in the long run:

Smoking Drinking too much Overeating or undereating Zoning out for hours in front of the TV or computer Withdrawing from friends, family, and activities

Using pills or drugs to relax Sleeping too much Procrastinating Filling up every minute of the day to avoid facing problems Taking out your stress on others (lashing out, angry outbursts, physical violence)

Internal Stressors:

Identifying self-generated stressors

“Not all stress is caused by external pressures and demands. Your stress can also be self-generated.

Internal causes of stress include:

o       uncertainty or worries,

o       pessimistic att itude,

o       self-criticism,

o       unrealistic expectations or beliefs,

o       perfectionism,

o       low self-esteem,

o       excessive or unexpressed anger,

o       lack of assertiveness,”1 and

o       fears or apprehensions (e.g., fear of fl ying or

o       heights; apprehension about speaking to strangers

o       at a party).

Stressors usually fall into the following categories:

• Emotional stressors, which can also be thought of as internal stressors, include fears and anxieties (such as worries about whether you'll be fired or whether you'll make a good impression on a blind date) as well as certain personality traits (such as perfectionism, pessimism, suspiciousness, or a sense of helplessness or lack of control over one's life) that can distort your thinking or your perceptions of others. These stressors are very individual.
• Family stressors can include changes in your relationship with your significant other, financial problems, coping with an unruly adolescent, or experiencing empty-nest syndrome. 
• Social stressors arise in our interactions within our personal community. They can include dating,  parties, and public speaking. As with emotional stressors, social stressors are very individualized (you may love speaking in public, while your colleague shakes in his boots at the mere suggestion).
• Change stressors are feelings of stress related to any important changes in our lives. This may include moving, getting a new job, moving in with a significant other, or having a baby.
• Chemical stressors are any drugs a person abuses, such as alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, or tranquilizers.
• Work stressors are caused by the pressures of performing in the workplace (or in the home, if that is where you work). They may include tight deadlines, an unpredictable boss, or endless family demands.
• Decision stressors involve the stress caused by having to make important decisions, such as the choice of a career or a mate.
• Phobic stressors are those caused by situations you are extremely afraid of, such as flying in airplanes or being in tight spaces.
• Physical stressors are situations that overtax your body, such as working long hours without sleep, depriving yourself of healthy food, or standing on your feet all day. They may also include pregnancy, premenstrual syndrome, or too much exercise.
• Disease stressors are the products of long- or short-term health problems. These may cause stress (say, by preventing you from being able to leave your bed), be triggered by stress (such as herpes flare-ups), or be aggravated by stress (such as migraine headaches).
• Pain stressors can include acute pain or chronic pain. Like disease stressors, pain stressors can cause stress or be aggravated by stress.
• Environmental stressors include noise, pollution, a lack of space, too much heat, or too much cold.

Using the above list as a reference, write down and note which category the main stressors in your life fall into. You may even find that some of your stressors fall into more than one of these categories.
There are probably items on your list of stressors you can let go of, however. If having to clean the entire house on your day off every week is preventing you from having any leisure time, perhaps you can fit a cleaning service into your budget. If ironing shirts is keeping you up late at night, send them to the cleaners instead. If these seem like luxuries you can't afford, try to reorganize your budget a bit. Remember, your time is valuable, too.
Reducing the strength of your stressors is usually a more viable option than eliminating them entirely. For example, if you are having trouble concentrating on your work because of loud noise in the office, consider buying a pair of earplugs. If your morning trip to work forces you to drive two hours in heavy traffic every day, try another option such as mass transit or carpooling and bring along the morning paper, a good book, or a CD player or IPOD loaded with favorite music.
Coping is no doubt your only option for the majority of the items on your list of stressors. However, this doesn't have to be as hopeless as it sounds. There are several techniques for learning to stay calm and clearheaded under pressure. As you master them, even your biggest stressors will pose less and less of a threat.
Go back through your list of stressors and mark an E for each item you can eliminate, an R for each stressor you can reduce the strength of, and a C for each item you can learn to cope with. For the items marked with an E or an R, jot down any ideas you have on how to accomplish these goals (for example, sending shirts to the cleaners or buying earplugs).

Learning healthier ways to manage stress

If your methods of coping with stress aren’t contributing to your greater emotional and physical health, it’s time to find healthier ones. There are many healthy ways to manage and cope with stress, but they all require change. You can either change the situation or change your reaction. When deciding which option to choose, it’s helpful to think of the four As: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept.
Since everyone has a unique response to stress, there is no “one size fits all” solution to managing it. No single method works for everyone or in every situation, so experiment with different techniques and strategies. Focus on what makes you feel calm and in control.

Dealing with Stressful Situations: The Four A’s

Change the situation: Avoid the stressor. Alter the stressor.

Change your reaction: Adapt to the stressor. Accept the stressor.

-  By Dr Smita Pandey